


Canvas of Memories

by ZyonShigure



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, Reincarnation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-29
Updated: 2016-11-22
Packaged: 2018-04-28 17:12:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 17,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5098670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZyonShigure/pseuds/ZyonShigure
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes fate has a way of making right what it once forced wrong, but then there are other times when it can only repeat past mistakes. Past comrades are drawn together, yet remain divided by hidden truths. The time has come to fight again, but this time the enemy is secrets--and secrets are not so easily defeated as titans.</p><p>Or less seriously...Eren's a painter and works at a bar. Yeah, it's one of those fics.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Meeting

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Most, if not all, of the characters, setting, and concepts included in this story belong to the creator(s) of the original work that this fanfic is based off of and not myself.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, no. You don't get one for the first section.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And it is finally up! The first chapter of Canvas of Memories! For those of you who don't remember or haven't read it, there was a Christmas special that I posted back in 2013 which I said was part of larger story that I was still working on. This is that story. Thank you to anyone who's been waiting patiently (or impatiently as the case may be) for this.

Levi stared disinterestedly down at the text he had just received. It was Erwin, again, asking him to come by the bar sometime. He had been getting such messages for weeks. It wasn't that he had no interest in seeing his friend (even though they shared an apartment, their work schedules conflicted, so they rarely saw each other), but he hated bars. They were disgusting, loud, and full of annoying people. He rarely drank alcohol anymore-particularly the shit Erwin sold to the customers-so visiting such places always ended up being a pointless waste of time. It irked him that he was going despite himself. He prepared for an unpleasant evening.

Using a handkerchief, which he resolved to disinfect and thoroughly wash later, he opened the door of Erwin's bar and headed inside. It was too early in the evening for the place to be busy, so for once, the bar was blessedly quiet. Business had obviously picked up since Levi was last in here, about three months ago, because Erwin wasn't the bartender. He must have finally gotten another employee. Levi couldn't see the person's face, since his back was turned as he mixed a customer's drink, but his hair was too dark a color to belong to the bar's owner. Moments later, the bartender finished and turned around, handing the completed drink to its buyer with a flourish. He must have noticed Levi out of the corner of his eye because he glanced up and a bright smile lit his face.

"Welcome!" He moved over to where Levi was now sitting at the bar. "What can I get you?" The young man faltered for a moment as Levi just continued to stare at him. "Um...sir?"

"Tea," Levi muttered, feeling vaguely disappointed, "as black as you can make it."

His answer seemed to confuse the boy, "Err...this is a bar, you know."

"And?"

"I'm probably not supposed to say this, but you'd be better served going to the coffee shop down the street."

"Just get me the damn tea. I know there's some in the back."

The bartender was clearly surprised a customer knew this, but he quickly covered his discomfort with a smile and turned to make the drink. "Sure."

Levi never took his eyes off of Eren. Even without a name tag, he knew that was the kid's name. The boy didn't look much different than he had in Levi's memories, although he must be at least a few years older. There was a certain maturity that had never shown on the rest of his face before, even if it burned in his green eyes. It was clear that Eren didn't recognize him, but Levi was used to that at this point. He didn't know exactly what portion of their group retained memories, but it wasn't a majority.

A few minutes later, Eren returned with a steaming cup of tea, which he placed in front of Levi. Levi picked it up, his hand positioned over the top of the teacup with his fingers grasping lightly around the rim. Eren stared at him curiously, but he apparently had better manners than in the past and didn't say anything. Certainly, it was an odd method of drinking, but then, Levi wasn't what anyone would call a normal person. It was one of many strange habits that he blamed on his past.

"This tastes like shit."

"Sorry," Eren said quietly, a contrite look on his face. "I haven't really had much practice making tea."

"It's not that fucking complicated. There are instructions on the box. Idiot."

A long silence followed after that. No new customers arrived, so Eren just stood there, watching Levi, not even trying to be inconspicuous about it. He rather got the impression that the man would notice anyway so there was no point. Levi himself just continued to drink his tea, even if it was terrible. He was about to ask where Erwin was when the boy's face suddenly brightened with recognition. For just a second, Levi let himself hope.

"Maybe...are you Levi?"

"Yeah."

His face lit up like a fuckin' Christmas tree. "Great! I'll go get Erwin. He said a friend of your description might be coming by sometime."

Levi could just imagine what the description had consisted of, probably something along the lines of "short, rude, and grumpy," if the past was any indication. Eren went to go call into the back room for Erwin, then returned and stuck his hand out for Levi to shake.

"I'm Eren."

Levi ignored the hand until the boy eventually lowered it. "Did I ask?"

"Well, no, but I figured, I mean, it's only fair, since I know your name."

"Life isn't fair, kid."

Eren's expression froze and Levi wondered whether he had gone too far, but after a moment more, the boy returned to his usual demeanor. "Just because life isn't, doesn't mean I can't be," he responded cheerily.

"So you finally came," Erwin commented, coming out of the back.

There was no need to respond. It was obvious that he had.

"Eren, business is going to pick up soon, so why don't you go make sure that everything is stocked up for the evening?" Erwin suggested, unsubtly trying to send the boy away. It was particularly blatant considering that was what he himself had just been doing in the back room. Eren didn't seem to notice and hurried off to do as requested.

"You should have told me." The accusation in Levi's voice was obvious.

"I did tell you, multiple times."

"Be more fucking specific next time. There was no way for me to know that 'come to my shitty bar' meant 'I found Eren'."

"If I had, there was the chance that you might have purposely stayed away."

Levi wasn't sure whether that was true or not. He liked to think that he wasn't the type to get scared off so easily, but he had to admit that seeing Eren again was unsettling. If he had known the boy would be here beforehand, he might have put off the meeting indefinitely just to avoid the discomfort and disappointment of the entire situation. His voice was softer when he spoke again. "He doesn't remember, does he?"

Erwin shook his head.

"Shit."

"That does make things a little harder for you, doesn't it?"

"Maybe it's better this way," Levi said after a moment's hesitation, watching Eren as he busied himself with the customers that had just arrived. He was grinning widely, his laughter audible from the other end of the bar. "That time was full of despair, for all of us, but particularly for him."

"It wasn't all bad," Erwin argued.

Levi didn't reply right away, wanting to disagree but knowing Erwin would call him out on it if he had. When he did speak, it was about something else. "How long has he been here?"

"About two months."

"You've only been pestering me to come visit for one."

"I wanted to give him some time to adjust before inflicting your presence on him."

"I'm not that bad."

"You would have terrified him," Erwin replied bluntly. "This isn't like last time, Levi. At least then he knew who you were. He admired you. You have to admit, you are a bit rough sometimes."

"I don't do that flattery crap."

"You called the tea he'd just made shit."

"Well, it was."

"Do you want a different cup?"

"No," Levi muttered, taking another sip. He grimaced at the smile that was suddenly on Erwin's face.

Erwin returned to his scolding, "He's used to that sort of thing now-drunk customers don't care much for politeness-but if you'd done that when he first started working here, he might not have come back. Then what would you have done?"

"The same thing I've been doing for the rest of my life: pretend he never existed."

"You didn't know he was alive then."

"Perhaps it might be different," Levi acknowledged. "Maybe I'd try and find him again."

"I don't doubt it, and you know I'd help you if you did."

"And then I'd find him and have to find a way to fix my terrible first impression. That would work _so_ well."

"Your impression the first time was much worse and he forgave you for it then."

"It's different when you're saving someone's life."

"Yes, I suppose so."

More comfortable silence.

"I thought you weren't hiring."

"I wasn't, but there were special circumstances." Erwin paused, then added, "He's a friend of Armin's."

"Is that supposed to be news?"

"Armin is my cousin. I was doing him a favor."

"And you didn't tell me? They were friends in the past. How did it never fucking occur to you that they would be now as well?" Levi demanded angrily.

To think that he could have met Eren long before now. He'd recently given up hope. After all, they had passed the point in their lives when they had met in their previous incarnations. Surely that indicated that Eren hadn't been reborn or that they weren't meant to meet in this lifetime. And instead Eren had been close this entire time but he'd had no way of knowing it because Erwin just had to keep his damn mouth shut.

"I hadn't meant to hide it from you, but I couldn't ask without raising suspicions. Armin is just as brilliant as he was then. He's already started to suspect." Erwin paused, trying to think of a reason he could give that would satisfy his friend. Levi wouldn't care whether Armin knew the truth or not, but there apparently was someone for whom he did. "Whatever he learns, he'll tell Eren. I think it would be better if Eren doesn't find out that he was the Rogue Titan. The knowledge will only hurt him."

Levi turned away with a short "tch."

"It looks like business is picking up, so I'm going to go help Eren. You're welcome to stay as long as you like."

"In this hell hole? Fuck no."

Levi ended up staying until the bar closed early the next morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I welcome feedback of any kind, positive or not. And updates will be on Wednesdays...at whatever time I get around to it.


	2. Painting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last time was the bar part, this time is the painting bit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now I can finally put in chapter specific notes and summaries!

Levi hadn't known how much he was counting on Eren being there the next day until he had already arrived and realized the brat was missing. Despite how little sleep he had gotten the night before, he had still shown up at the bar as soon as his work was done. Erwin might have been surprised, if he hadn't already expected this to happen, if he hadn't known that Levi wouldn't pass up a chance to see Eren again after waiting so long.

"Where's the brat?"

"He's in the back, painting." Erwin gestured to the open door behind him.

"You finally decided this place needed fixed up? I've been saying so since you bought it."

Erwin shook his head. "Not that kind of painting. You'll see."

Levi frown grew just a bit more pronounced at that. The only other type of painting Levi could think of at the moment was useless art whose only purpose was to give pleasure to the viewer. He didn't really think Eren was capable of that and if the boy was supposedly working here with the intent of earning some sort of wage, there was no reason for him to be wasting time in the back painting for other purposes. If he wanted to do that, he ought to have just stayed at home. At least then he might have been able to pass it off as a sick day. Even now, hundreds of years later, the boy's stupidity still astonished him with its enormity. And why the hell was Erwin letting him get away with it?

The back room would have been easy to find, even if Levi hadn't already been there multiple times. The door behind the counter led into a short horizontal hallway, with two doors, one at each end, and a staircase. The staircase, Levi knew, led up to the flat that he and Erwin shared, which had been built right above the bar. The door to the right was locked, as it was filled with the bar's commodities, which meant that the remaining door on the left side was the one that led into the back room. It hung open, an uncommon occurrence when the only employee had been Erwin, and Levi could just barely see the edge of the table he knew to be in the room. The single chair was missing, so it could only be assumed that the brat had moved it for some reason or another. As he got closer, more of the room's interior became visible from the hallway, until he could see all of it by standing in the doorway.

As expected, the boy had pulled the room's only chair off to the side so that he could place it in front of his easel. His back was toward the door and he didn't seem to notice Levi's presence so the older man felt no qualms about moving closer to see the painting. His gaze got lost, however, in the movement of the boy's hands. Right now they were making quick, light strokes, as if he was painting on air. It was a motion that Levi had never seen those hands make before. The Eren he had known had never needed to be cautious with his gestures. He knew that he probably should have felt bad about sneaking up on the boy and looking without permission, but he didn't want to announce his presence because then Eren would stop. Levi lifted his eyes to the canvas, noting that the boy was, in fact, painting feathers, brilliant white feathers to complement their black companions on the other side of the canvas. It took a moment for Levi to recognize the figure that was being painted.

"This one's coming out really well," Erwin commented, coming up behind Levi.

Eren smiled but didn't look away from the canvas. "I'm glad. I want to get the wings just right, but it's really difficult. I'm used to painting people, not animals."

"Did you spend all day on this? You're almost done."

"I wanted to start on it last night, actually, but I was out of canvases, so I had to wait until the stores opened again in the morning. I've been working on it since then though."

Levi finally found his voice. "What do you think you're doing?"

Eren jumped, nearly knocking over the painting. Thankfully, his brush hadn't been full of paint at the time and his hand had been away from the canvas, so nothing was ruined. Levi hadn't meant to surprise him and he was relieved the painting hadn't become a victim. Eren turned to face the other two, his expression a mix of shock, confusion, horror, and embarrassment. This amused Erwin quite a bit because he had never seen the boy react so violently to an interruption while painting. He had always been under the impression that nothing could faze Eren while working on his art, but then, that was before he'd met Levi.

"I'm sorry! I know I should have asked your permission first, but the image was stuck in my head, and I just had to paint it, and it wasn't like I was going to show it to anybody else," Eren babbled, clearly distraught by Levi's presence.

Levi waited until he was finished. The boy was now staring miserably at the floor, his fingers still clutching his brush, but lightly, as if it might fall from them at any second. "Why me?"

The boy looked up quickly. "Eh?"

"Are you that hard of hearing, brat?"

"You want to know why I'm painting you?" Eren clarified, clearly confused.

Levi didn't think that deserved a response.

"I almost always paint the people I meet."

"Eren doesn't see people the way we do, Levi. When he looks at them, sometimes he'll see two images that fluctuate rather than just the one before him. At least, that's how I understood it when he explained it to me."

Eren nodded in confirmation, then set down his brush and turned fully to face Levi. "It's been that way ever since the accident and it wasn't long before I decided to find a way to make them visible to everyone else." What accident? Levi wanted to demand, but Eren continued on, not giving him a chance. "The things I see, I want to show them to others. I think that somehow I am able to see an aspect of a person that they may not be aware of, some good part of themselves that they are blind to. I'd like to think that what I do helps people see themselves more clearly, but perhaps it is a false hope."

"I don't think so," Levi murmured, his eyes moving back to the painting. "Why wings?"

"Because that's what I see when I look at you, glorious wings on your back." There was a sad undertone to the boy's voice that couldn't be understood. It was the remnants of an emotion that had long been gone, for it had never even existed during this lifetime.

"Is that...typical?" He figured normal, the word he'd been going to say, wasn't quite the way to put it when talking to someone who saw things that weren't there. He wanted to know whether there had been others with wings like those, whether Eren knew of the connection they all had. There was only one thing that the wings could be a symbol for and Levi found himself hoping once again.

"The wings?" Eren asked, confused once again. "No. I've never seen anyone else with them. Only you."

"Can I watch as you paint?"

Eren eyed Levi warily, thinking that the question was out of character, despite hardly knowing the man. "I guess? It won't bother me, but I've noticed that it tends to take the magic out of it."

" _Magic_ ," Levi scoffed.

"It's almost done anyway," Erwin commented. He left the room soon after.

Eren picked up his brush again and resumed working. "Your reaction was a bit disappointing."

One of Levi's eyebrows rose. "Oh?"

"Most people react a bit more strongly when they see it. Erwin's face got really serious when I showed him his. Armin thought I was painting the great-great-whatever grandfather that's he's named after, the one who fought in the Titan War. Jean was really pissed about Marco's for some reason and didn't really seem to even notice the one I made of him, though I don't think Marco minded. I think Reiner got rid of his. Annie didn't seem too happy about hers either. Ymir just laughed. Sasha drooled over the meat I painted in hers and Connie didn't look any different than normal. Mikasa cried. I've painted other people too."

All of the names were recognizable to Levi. They had belonged to the other members of the 104th training squad, although a few were missing. Only Annie and Marco hadn't joined the Survey Corps after Trost. He only knew the boy's name because the brats had all been distraught over his death when they joined. It didn't surprise him that Eren had the same friends now as he'd had then. After all, wasn't it the same for Levi? He had been friends with Erwin and Hanji for many years by this point and worked with the members of the original special operations squad from his past life.

"They're just paintings."

"Are they though?" Eren mused. "Sometimes I wonder..." He shook his thoughts away. "If you want to stay until closing time, I can give it to you then, when the paint's dry, or you can pick it up tomorrow."

"You're giving it to me?"

"Well, yeah. What else would I do with it? I painted it for you."

"And if I don't want it?" Levi couldn't quite bring himself to insult the brat's painting, even if his first instinct had been to say "your shitty work" instead of "it".

Eren looked hurt anyway. "You don't have to if you don't want to..."

"I'll take it."

The boy instantly brightened. He continued to work in silence for a bit, although neither the quiet nor the previous noise seemed to bother him. He was perfectly comfortable to work in either type of environment.

"Have you tried medications?"

Eren was confused by the abrupt question, but it wasn't as apparent as usual since his face was turned away. Levi could only guess based on his other reactions. He supposed it was possible that he had actually offended the boy, but it was such an obvious question that there was no reason to be.

He decided to clarify. "To fix what's wrong with your sight."

"There's nothing wrong with me!" Eren protested indignantly.

"You see things that aren't there."

He shot Levi a quick glare before returning to his work. "They're not real hallucinations, according to my dad, because I can tell the difference between what I see and reality. We did try lots of different meds though, once we figured out what I could do, but nothing worked. My dad thinks that it's because my brain automatically filters what I see and for some reason changes it to what it believes it _should_ be seeing, like some kind of mental auto-correct. It's a pretty common thing actually. That's how a lot of optical illusions work."

"Alright, a psychologist then. It seems like some therapy would be more effective for you anyway." Eren waved him off, unbothered by the accusation. Levi decided it was time to give the kid a break. "Do you know why you see people differently?"

"Nope." Eren popped the p as he said the word. "It just started happening."

"So it hasn't been like this forever then." It was an assumption, not a question.

Eren nodded. "It's not always the same either. The shadow images—that's what we all call them—change sometimes. I don't know why though." He flashed a grin in Levi's direction. "Do I sound crazy yet?"

That was a whole different discussion that they didn't need to have. Levi didn't want to have to explain why he was already convinced that the boy wasn't entirely sane. It involved too much background knowledge of things that he'd already decided not to talk about with anyone who didn't already know.

"No more than usual," Levi finally answered.

Eren looked at him for a moment, trying to decide the meaning behind that, considering they had just met the previous day. After a few seconds though, he shook it off as unimportant and examined his painting. It was nearly complete. He set down his paintbrush before addressing Levi again. "I'll be done soon, but...can you leave, just for a few minutes? I want to do this part alone."

"Whatever."

Eren waited until Levi had left before turning his attention to his own hand, examining the lines he had long ago memorized. He stretched it above him, reaching toward the ceiling and just looked, making note of every shadow. Then, he took his brush up again and added the last element of the painting.


	3. Sharing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Survey Corps leaders have a meeting and discuss Eren.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone has any ideas for other tags to add to this fic, I'd be glad to hear them. I never know what to put although I understand their usefulness.

"Levi! It's been way too long!" Hanji shouted, throwing herself at her longtime friend. He almost fell over from the sudden imbalance of weight but kept his footing through years of practice. "How come I never see you anymore?"

"We all have jobs to do. There's no way around it," Erwin replied, entering Hanji's house right behind Levi, a bag of food and drinks in his hand.

"Once a month is often enough, Shitty Glasses."

Hanji pretended that she hadn't heard him, taking the sack from Erwin to the living room where the trio intended to spend their evening. The other two followed her in and they sat down, pulling out the bag's contents. "Your customers must be so disappointed to find out that the bar's closed for the night."

Erwin laughed amiably. "There are plenty of other places that will serve the same purpose. Eren's been doing a very good job, but I can't leave the bar in the hands of someone who's still underage."

"So the brat is still a brat then? I'm not surprised," Levi commented, trying not to sound curious.

"He turns twenty next spring."

Unconsciously he sighed with relief. At least Eren was an adult. Not that it had stopped him before, but people cared more about things like that now and he didn't want to get Eren in trouble just because he couldn't wait for a few more years. A few years was a long time.

"This is the same Eren that you're always talking about, right Levi? I'm so happy for you!"

Levi swiftly dodged another tackle hug, muttering, "Who's always talking about him?"

Hanji just babbled on, "And this means that you're totally allowed to date him. A seven year difference isn't _too_ bad and it's completely legal."

"I just met him two days ago. I'm hardly thinking about our compatibility." Total lie, but she didn't need the encouragement. He should have known that his comment would only make it worse.

"Of course not. You were thinking about how to get into his pants."

"I'm not a fucking teenager."

"But he is. You're going to have to be careful Levi. Teenagers are at a fragile point in their lives. If you mess this up-"

"Just shut the fuck up. I know what I'm doing. I've done this before."

Hanji looked absolutely aghast. "You have? And you never told me? Levi! How could you?"

"He means in his past life."

"Oh good, and here I was thinking that I'd have to tell Eren you cheated on him."

Erwin shook his head in amusement. "It's not cheating if they aren't actually together."

"He doesn't remember, so don't say anything to him," Levi warned threateningly.

"I already knew that. Erwin told me."

"And you didn't think to tell me about it either?"

"Well, if you had just gone to the bar like Erwin asked..."

"What's done is done, so there's no point arguing about it. You know about him now and that's what matters, right?" Erwin interrupted, trying to diffuse the situation. He knew that the two weren't seriously fighting, but if the argument escalated enough, Levi would undoubtedly leave and then Hanji would be left feeling bad about it and he would have to deal with the consequences on both sides until the two made up again. It wouldn't take long, but even one day with an irritated Levi and an upset Hanji would be miserable.

"I don't understand why telling him is such a problem," Hanji said. "Won't that make things easier for you?"

"Why does it matter to you whether things are easy for me? What are you expecting me to do?"

"Hit on him, obviously."

"Two days, Shitty Glasses."

"Doesn't matter," she replied dismissively. "Maybe it's been that long for him, but you've been waiting your entire life."

"Never say that again."

"I wouldn't say it's true, either," Erwin said.

Hanji had no argument for that so she glanced around the room for something else to talk about. "What's that?" She asked, noticing the large object Levi had brought with him.

"A painting."

"I didn't think you liked art. You always complain about how useless it is and how it just sits around collecting dust for you to clean up. It must be some painting." A manic light lit the scientist's eye, just like when she discovered something new and exciting during one of her experiments. "Can I see?"

Levi sighed, knowing that she wouldn't give up until he showed it to her. He turned the painting around, letting her see Eren's completed work. It was a portrait of Levi, suspended in midair by two giant wings, one white and one black. Most of the painting was taken up by the wings, since his back was to the viewer and it was obvious that Eren had put a lot of effort into making them look just right. Now that he was looking at it more thoroughly, Levi started to notice the smaller details of the picture. He was dressed in the uniform of the Survey Corps, which he found promising, but with no maneuver gear. The edges of the Corps' crest were just barely visible, printed on the green cape and located at the base of the wings, as if it was the wings of the crest that had sprouted from his back. He was angled just a little bit to the side and his gaze was turned downward. A single hand reached down, grasping for something just beyond the edges of the painting, and while his face was as expressionless as always, his eyes burned with a tenderness that would break even the hardest of hearts. Levi didn't know how a mere painting could convey so much emotion.

He didn't notice the way the smile faded from Hanji's face as she looked at the image. "Eren's last name is Jaeger, isn't it?"

"Yes. You've met him?" Erwin asked.

"I've seen his artwork before," Hanji replied, not really answering the question. Suddenly she was smiling again, but it wasn't as honest as it had been before. "He's the son of a doctor I worked with in the past. It's easy to recognize his paintings even if the style isn't very distinctive."

"All artists leave their own traces in their works," Erwin responded.

"And there's a simple way to tell whether it was something Eren painted. Look in the lower right corner. You can just barely see the tips of another person's fingers, reaching up. He always does this. I've never seen a painting of his that doesn't include at least the slightest hint of another person somewhere near the edge."

Levi turned his attention to the place Hanji was indicating on the canvas. That must have been what Eren was painting when he asked Levi to leave. It hadn't been there before.

"I've noticed that," Erwin responded. "There was another person at the edge of the painting he did for me as well. They were saluting and all you could see at the bottom of the frame was the person's hand and their forehead."

"How did he portray you?"

"I was dressed up as a military general. I think that his paintings are more meant to convey concepts rather than the literal. It seems that they are the conduit for his past life memories, but that he doesn't have a firm grasp on them. Impressions, nothing more. Otherwise I would have expected to see myself in the uniform of the Survey Corps, rather than the one from a more recent war when the form of salute was different. If I were to guess, the similarities of the accident caused him to remember some things, but his mind is still trying to protect itself from the memories."

"The accident?" Levi asked, picking up on the words he had wondered about earlier.

Surprisingly, Hanji was the one who answered. "Eren was in a car accident when he was young. It killed his mother and it's been since then that he could see the images."

"Not that you should be breaking confidentiality and saying that," Erwin scolded.

"He won't mind," she replied instantly. "That part's pretty common knowledge."

Erwin nodded. He, too, had learned about the accident early on. It didn't seem like something Eren cared to hide, although he still didn't think Hanji should be sharing it without Eren's knowledge. He returned to the previous topic. "He explained it to me once, why he always puts that other person in. He says that it is the image of the observer, unidentifiable from the smallest of glimpses that we are given, but enough to know they are there. I, myself, have come to believe that it is meant to represent Eren, due to the relationships I've seen between this 'observer' and the subject of the painting."

"You've seen other pieces of his work?" Hanji asked eagerly, setting the painting down once again, being more gentle than expected.

Erwin nodded. "I became interested after seeing the one he painted of me. He gives all of his paintings to the person they are painted of, but some of his friends were willing to show me theirs. I think," he continued softly, "that a few of them must also have their memories of that time, but I am not sure who. Armin seems very aware of the situation, but I don't think he has all of the information since he does not know who the Rogue Titan was. However, that could just be him trying to mislead me, and it is difficult to tell whether Mikasa Ackerman's over-protectiveness is related to her own personality or memories of the past. From what Eren's told me, I've come to the conclusion that Reiner Braun does have past life memories, but I don't think he's said anything to the others about it, although I'm not sure that he's trying very hard to hide it, either."

"You're rather well-informed," Levi remarked, feeling a sting of jealousy that Erwin should know the current Eren better than he did.

"Eren's friends often come to the bar to visit. It's one of the few times they can see him because he spends most of the day sleeping since he works through most of the night."

"Doesn't he get any days off?" Hanji inquired curiously.

"I've tried to give him some, but he doesn't want it. Eren doesn't have this job to earn money. I'm not entirely sure why he does want it, but his father pays for all of his expenses and then some, so the money is superfluous. Eren actually tried to convince me not to pay him at all when I first hired him, but I wasn't going to take advantage and have him work for nothing. I've often felt that, somehow, in this life, we have to make up for all of the wrongs that were committed in the past and I've come to wonder whether Grisha, Eren's father, is the same. I don't think his treatment of Eren is just the result of a doting parent."

"He _should_ try and atone," Levi said fiercely. "It won't make any difference, but he should feel guilty for what he did to Eren."

"Levi, he might not have had a choice. We never learned what circumstances pushed him to turn Eren into a shifter."

"I'll never forgive him, because Eren will and someone has to hold him responsible for what he did."

"Why does it matter? As long as Eren is being taken care of, who cares what the reason is?" Hanji pointed out. She had been acting strange ever since she had learned Eren's last name. Her tone had a nervous quality to it that disappeared when she continued speaking. "Hey, it's about time that I got to see him, don't you think?"

"You're welcome at the bar any time, Hanji."

"Excellent! I'll come by some time next week then."

"You better make sure that it's late in the night then," Levi responded.

"Eh? Why?"

"Because then I don't have to see your shitty face."

"You don't even know what day I'm coming. How do you know that you'll even be there? Unless...maybe, do you intend to visit every day? That's so cute!" She threw herself onto him again.

"Get off before I make you. Do that again and you'll find yourself without limbs to do it with."

Hanji just continued to hug him. "You won't do that. You always say such horrible things but we all know that you're just a big softy inside."

Levi shoved her off and then left the room. Erwin just looked despairingly at his friend. So she had ended up driving Levi off after all. But the shorter man returned only a moment later, a giant butcher knife in his hand. He casually laid the knife down on the coffee table and then sat down. Conversation resumed, turning to Hanji's work. She didn't even so much as touch Levi for the rest of the evening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just three sections and already the word count is over that of any one of my other stories. I imagine it won't be long before the count is higher than theirs combined.


	4. Investigating

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This time's a bit shorter, which is crazy because Hanji's around. At least she's not meddling. Yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I apologize for the late update. I actually spent a good portion of yesterday in the ER and have been in lots of pain all week. It's fine though. They finally figured out what the problem is and I'm on medications for it. Thankfully I didn't need surgery so it's all good. Well...not the pain, but it will hopefully be going away soon.

Hanji didn't end up visiting the bar for another two weeks due to problems with her work. Levi wasn't there when she arrived, even though she had specifically made sure to come earlier in the evening, just to annoy him. Perhaps he simply hadn't arrived yet. Well, she was a patient individual and she could talk to Eren while she waited. That was, after all, her original purpose in coming.

"Welcome!" The voice was familiar, even if it had changed over the years, growing deeper with age. Hanji looked up to see Eren standing before her, a friendly smile on his face. It faded, however, as recognition settled in. "What can I..." He trailed off, unable to continue with his customary greeting. "Dr. Zoe?"

"Hello Eren," she replied, smiling.

He quickly glanced around, making sure that no one else could hear their conversation, even though they were the only two in the room—Erwin was in the back again. Still, he lowered his voice, trying to be as secretive as possible. "How did you know where to find me? Did Dad tell you?"

She couldn't exactly say that she hadn't come because of him, but it wasn't like he thought. She rushed to explain. "I'm a friend of Erwin's. He had told me that he'd hired a new bartender named Eren, but I didn't know it was you until I saw the painting you did for Levi when they came to visit me. You've gotten much better," she said sincerely.

The uncomfortable expression on Eren's face merely grew more pronounced and he found himself biting his hand again, as he usually did when he was stressed. He forced himself to stop. "Did you-? You haven't-" he paused and took a deep breath, "You didn't tell them, did you?"

It was rare to see the boy so uncertain. "I would never do that to you, Eren," Hanji assured.

He breathed a huge sigh of relief.

"But I still think that you should at least tell Erwin," she said quickly. "What if something happened? He wouldn't be able to help."

Eren set his jaw stubbornly. "I can't do that."

"You can. I know you don't want to, but you can."

He shook his head.

"I told you to come later, Shitty Glasses," Levi said, entering the bar, a scowl on his face.

"Levi!" Hanji got up and rushed to hug her friend. She stopped, however, when she was only a step away, her arms still outstretched. "You don't have a knife, do you?" She asked, suspiciously.

"Yes, I carry big ass butcher knives around with me for the express purpose of murdering you."

Hanji pouted. "The problem with you is that it's impossible to tell when you're being sincere about stuff like that."

"What can I get for you?" Eren asked, directing the question at Hanji, trying to act normal. "I assume Levi wants black tea."

"Let Erwin get it. The crap you make isn't fit for human consumption."

"It's been getting better," Eren mumbled.

Hanji rolled her eyes. "He's always like this. Don't mind Levi."

"Oh, I don't," Eren replied with a grin. "Not anymore, anyway."

"You must spend a lot of time with him then, to know him so well already." Hanji said, a mischievous grin on her face.

Anyone who hadn't known Levi for a very long time wouldn't have noticed the slight tightening of his expression as irritation set in. Unfortunately, Hanji was one of those people. She smirked in his direction, clearly trying to stir up trouble.

"Um...no, not really," Eren quickly denied. Levi had, in fact, been there almost every day since they'd first met and for some reason he always ended up mocking Eren. He wasn't sure whether this was Levi's normal habit or if there was something about himself that simultaneously drew and, at the same time, offended the man. "Have you decided yet?"

Hanji wagged her finger, as if she were scolding him. "Don't think I didn't notice that change of subject, but I suppose I'll have to let you get away with it if I don't want Levi to silence me in some horrible way."

"You give me too much credit. I'm not that inventive. A nice slice across the throat will do."

"Surprise me, Eren. Make me something interesting."

Eren thought about it for a moment, then turned away, heading for the back counter to work on Hanji's drink. He returned a while later with Levi's tea (made by Erwin, who'd come over at some point to say hello to his friends) and a colorful concoction for Hanji. He often got vague requests such as hers now that the regular customers trusted him enough to create his own mixes, so it hadn't been too difficult to decide how much of various substances to mix together for her. Normally he didn't agree to such requests for people that he hadn't seen at the bar before, but Hanji was an exception since he had known her for many years. She paused in her conversation with Levi to take a sip and then proceeded to sing its praises, completely forgetting what she had been talking about before. With anyone else, this would had irritated Levi to no end, but he was used to it with her. It was because he knew her so well, however, that he noticed something was off in the way she interacted with Eren. The two had clearly met before, and actually seemed to know each other quite well, but there was more to it than that. It was as if she was waiting for something, studying Eren like one of her experiments, but just what she was looking for, he couldn't guess.

"Eren," Hanji said seriously, as she was getting ready to leave a couple hours later, "take care of yourself."

The boy smiled, but it wasn't nearly so bright as usual. "Sure. I will." He waved goodbye and then turned to serve another customer.

Hanji turned and just stared at Levi, who had stayed later than usual because it was the only way to get her to stop the embarrassing groveling and pleading for him to stay. Her voice was soft when she spoke again. "I'm sorry."

His frown grew more pronounced. "What the hell did you do?"

She shook her head, not answering, and smiled sadly. "That's the problem. I can't do anything."

It was strange of her to give so little explanation, Levi thought as he watched her leave the bar, energetically waving down a taxi. She was the type to fully describe the situation because she herself couldn't stand not knowing something. Whatever it was that was bothering her must be unexplainable. And it had to do something with Eren. Perhaps something to do with his past life? After all, that was the only connection they had with the boy, and whatever it was involved her. Or maybe it had to do with Eren's accident or perhaps his father. He wasn't sure why Hanji would have become close to the boy because of that, but it would explain them knowing each other. Hanji _did_ work in a hospital lab now. If it was the same one Eren had gone to after the accident, or if it was where Grisha worked... Levi let his thoughts trail off, unable to solve the mystery. This sort of contemplation was more suited to Hanji or Erwin anyway.

"Hey, brat."

Eren looked up from his work. "Yeah?"

"See you tomorrow."

The boy didn't understand why Levi was bothering. He'd never given him anything resembling a greeting or goodbye before. Usually their conversations consisted mainly of insults. It only took him a moment, however, before a brilliant smile lit his face. Levi went upstairs that night with the image imprinted on his eyes.


	5. Meddling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hanji gets involved in anything that doesn't concern her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for my absence, both in responding to messages/reviews and in posting updates. It turns out that the condition I spoke about last chapter was more serious than originally believed. I was incorrectly diagnosed and what followed was two months of being in and out of the hospital, trying to identify the problem, I, unfortunately, did not manage to escape surgery, and I have spent the last two weeks recovering from that. Hopefully all is good now and I should be able to resume weekly updates as before. Enjoy this chapter and look forward to seeing another on Wednesday.

Typically Hanji was an incredibly impatient individual. She dashed through life with abandon like a cow to a fresh salt lick. This changed in two situations. The first, as to be expected, was at work, where impatience was ill-advised and only caused problems rather than fixing them, but it was the second that those around her had to fear. When it came to getting what she wanted, particularly when it involved someone _else's_ business, she was willing to wait as long as it took to achieve her goal. And unfortunately for Eren, this was one of those times.

Eren knew that the scientist was up to something. She'd been frequenting the bar a lot recently, which was uncommon for her. With the way she got involved in her work, it was rare to see her there near opening time, if at all, and she had been present every day this week. He didn't know what she was waiting for, but it didn't bode well for him. He supposed she _could_ be there for Erwin, but it was unlikely. He'd asked her what she wanted multiple times, but she'd always grinned impishly and refused to tell him. So Eren had gone to Erwin, in case he knew, which he obviously did, but the bar's owner also wouldn't explain. This was why Eren was sure she was there for him. He'd be concerned—well, _more_ concerned that he already was—if she had been taking the situation more seriously. But she wasn't, so he knew she wasn't there as a medical scientist but as herself.

Today he didn't pay her much attention. There was no reason to-she hadn't done anything strange, strange for her, that was—and he had other things to keep busy with. Both Reiner and Armin were at the bar and he spent his free time talking with them rather than watching Hanji. The pairing was a rather unlikely one, but them being there together was more coincidence than anything else. Reiner was procrastinating on a paper he had due the next day and Armin was returning a book he had borrowed from Eren's father. It was nice to see his friends again. While Eren had seen Armin only a week ago, he hadn't talked with Reiner in months. Surprisingly, his most common conversation partner recently had been Levi. He couldn't exactly call it a pleasant experience, but once you got past the crude speech and inappropriate humor, Eren supposed the man was okay to be around. He still preferred his own friends though.

Hanji, for her part, had been waiting for a night such as this. For her plan to work, she needed two conditions to be met. One, Levi couldn't be around because he would interfere and mess everything up. Even if she was doing this for him, he would undoubtedly see it as meddling. He tended to hate when she did that. Well, he couldn't stop what he didn't know about. Sure, he'd find out _eventually_ but she was hoping that wouldn't happen until after everything was already done. The second condition was that at least a couple of Eren's more...supportive friends be present. Technically she didn't need that part, but it would make things a lot easier for her. Eren could be just as stubborn as Levi about certain things and Hanji had the feeling this would be one of them.

She waited until Eren had to step away from his friends to serve another customer to make her move. Hanji couldn't remember whether she had met the sturdier boy before, but she definitely knew Armin. The blonde was almost as constant a presence as Mikasa was, but more talkative. At least he could be cordial with her, in all the ways that Eren's adoptive sister never would. Hanji hadn't seen the boy in a while, though she didn't think that would be a problem. She was pretty recognizable and Armin had a good memory. She walked over and greeted him, trying to be as friendly as possible but probably coming across a little crazed. Whatever. Armin was used to it.

"Hello Dr. Zoe," Armin responded, trying to remain cautious without appearing rude. "I didn't expect to see you here." She was about to explain that it was because she was Erwin's friend and had very little to do with Eren-usually-when the boy continued on. "Although I suppose it's not so strange considering you are my cousin's friend. I guess we've just never been here at the same time."

Reiner picked up on the familiar name. "Dr. Zoe? Isn't that the name of Eren's...whatever she is? I guess she's not his doctor or nurse or anything."

"She's the medical scientist who helped with everything after the accident. I hear she still helps Dr. Jaeger on occasion."

"'On occasion'," Hanji scoffed. "It's become my main job—my boring, repetitive, _lame_ job."

"Saving lives is lame?"

"If it's that bad, just quit," Reiner advised.

Hanji faked sadness. "Unfortunately, I'm the only one with knowledge in both medicine and the relevant areas of science." She brightened up again. "Anyway, that's not what I came over to talk to you about."

Armin had known she had an ulterior motive. Even though he wasn't very friendly with the scientist, he was familiar enough with her to recognize when she was plotting something. It was fairly obvious.

"I wanted to talk to you about Eren."

"I thought we _were_ talking about Eren," Reiner responded, glancing over at the boy in question. "Well, what is it? It better be interesting."

"If it's not, are you going to finally write your paper?"

Reiner scowled at the reminder. "No, I'll just find another way to procrastinate."

"Oh, it will be entertaining," Hanji assured.

"Dr. Zoe?" Armin prompted.

"You can go ahead and call me Hanji now. We're going to be working _very_ close together for the next few months."

Armin edged away, worried by the inflection in her already concerning statement. "Why is that?"

"Because I need your help setting Levi and Eren up."

She said it straight out like it was an unquestionable fact, but the sentence just caused the two boys to stare at her blankly.

Suddenly Reiner started laughing as something occurred to him. "Oh, you mean _that_ Levi. I hadn't realized you were one of us. I figured you'd be a bit more flamboyant about it and be hugging us right now or something. But I'll take this too. Less uncomfortable for the rest of us."

Armin tilted his head, considering Reiner's words and adding it to his store of information. "I assume you're talking about the friend of Erwin's that's been coming by here a lot recently." Eren had mentioned that one of Erwin's friends was showing up weirdly often, despite supposedly not having done so before. Armin wasn't sure whether Eren had ever mentioned the man's name, but Levi was the name of one of Erwin's few friends. He thought about it some more, making connections. "I suppose that means you're Levi's friend as well. How are we setting them up exactly?"

"To hook up with each other, obviously," Reiner answered, even though he shouldn't know the reason. Hanji nodded quickly in agreement.

"Is Levi attracted to Eren or something?" Armin already knew it wasn't the other way around.

Hanji laughed manically. "That's one way to put it!"

"I'm in," Reiner quickly agreed. "This is going to be fun."

"Fun?" Armin protested. "It sounds dangerous. I won't agree to this."

"How is it dangerous?"

"For Eren! She makes it sound like Levi wants to, you know..." He trailed off, not wanting to say the words. Armin shook his head, then spoke firmly. "I don't think he's interested in Eren for the right reasons. From what I know, he's much older and he barely knows Eren."

"That's not actually true," Hanji disagreed. "Levi comes here multiple times a week and every time he talks with Eren a great deal. And he's only twenty-six."

"But you didn't disagree that his interest is questionable," Armin pointed out.

Hanji groaned at his continued obstinance. "You have to help us! They'd be so good together."

"Fought all the time though," Reiner commented for the sake of accuracy.

"Friendly fighting," Hanji corrected.

Reiner laughed. "If it was so friendly, then why would there be any need for angry make-up sex?"

Armin frantically waved his hands in front of his face, promptly turning red. "Why are we even talking about this? I am _not_ helping you set your best friend up with mine!"

Hanji was pouting, her plans seemingly foiled. "Not even for one little date?"

Armin actually considered it. Hanji did tend to have good insight, although she was probably biased in this case. She wasn't the type to have layered plans like Erwin though, so she most likely was saying exactly what she thought. He reluctantly admitted that Eren did seem to think well of Levi despite his off-putting manner, and while Levi's outward personality left a bit to be desired, he did seem to have a good core. It was possible that Hanji was right. "I suppose if it's just one, in a public location. After that it's up to them if they want to continue the relationship."

"Thank you!" Hanji squealed, tackling Armin and nearly knocking him off of his chair.

Eren came over to see what the commotion was, but instantly wrote it off as the scientist being over-enthusiastic again. He was about to walk away when she stopped him with a question.

"What do you think of Levi?

Having not heard the rest of the conversation, Eren thought the inquiry a bit random. Then again, it was Hanji. She had a tendency to think in circles and squiggles rather than straight lines. Deciding caution was the best response, he considered his answer carefully. "He's not very sociable."

Hanji rolled her eyes. That was clearly not what she wanted to hear.

It was Reiner who responded though. "That's a terrible answer."

Eren quickly got the feeling that both of his friends were in on whatever Hanji's plot was. He focused his gaze on Armin, trying to guilt an explanation out of him.

Armin felt no compulsion to hide it. "She wants to know if you're interested in him."

"You mean romantically?"

Reiner scoffed. "How else would we mean it?"

Eren didn't miss the collective pronoun. Hanji wasn't the only one who wanted to know. They were definitely all in on it. "I'm not," he answered with no hesitation. "Why should I be? He's not very attractive and it's not like his personality's any better."

" _Interesting_." Reiner drew the word out, a sly grin on his face. "You don't find him attractive?"

Eren couldn't understand why that was the part he picked up on. "No. He's short, constantly has dark circles under his eyes and has that dorky undercut. How is any of that attractive?"

"I should be recording this," Hanji burst out, clutching her stomach as she laughed. "He's got his work cut out for him."

"Is he interested in me?"

Hanji's expression was instantly innocent. "No."

Either Hanji was extremely confused—a distinct possibility—or Levi was very good at hiding his thoughts. Eren already knew that his facial expressions didn't reflect anything but the strongest of emotions, but he didn't get that sense from the man at all. The only feeling he got from Levi was that the man wanted Eren to leave him alone as soon as possible. Although Eren supposed that he _had_ heard that Levi didn't visit the bar anywhere near so often before he found out that Eren had started working there. It still didn't make any sense.

"Is he even gay?"

"Most definitely," Reiner responded, still snickering.

Eren quickly turned his attention to his friend. "Why do you know so much anyway? Did you date him at some point?"

"Hell no, but a friend of mine did."

"Someone we know?" Armin asked, curiosity gleaming in his eyes.

"Yeah, but I'm not telling you who. I promised Mikasa."

Eren's face twisted with disgust. "Mikasa dated Levi?"

"What? No."

"Then why was she making you promise anything?"

"Just...nevermind. Bother her about it if you really want to know. Not that she'll actually tell you, but it's worth a try. Anyway, you should give him a chance. Even Mikasa would support it, if she could think about it clearly for just a few minutes."

"I doubt that," Armin disagreed.

"It's true! ...At least until Levi pissed her off again."

Eren sighed, exasperated by the whole, ridiculous conversation. "Even if I _was_ interested, I still wouldn't date Levi. I'm not going to get involved with anyone."

Hanji seemed appalled by the very idea. "Why not?"

"For the same reason I broke up with Jean."

That caught Armin's interest. "You broke up with him? I thought it was the other way around."

"It was a mutual decision," Eren clarified, "but yes, I was the one who brought it up."

"And let me guess," Reiner drawled. "It was one of those 'it's not you, it's me' type of deals, right?"

Eren rolled his eyes. "As if I would use such a crappy break up line, but if you must know, yes. It was after everything had gone to hell freshman year so it had nothing to do with there being something wrong with Jean."

Reiner chuckled malevolently. "This suddenly got way more interesting. Looks like there's gonna be competition on all sides."

He was instantly shot down. "No. Jean's got Marco and I don't like him that way anymore, anyway. Heck, I don't really like him at all."

"Your relationship was always kind of based on arguments. I wonder what that says about you as a person?" Armin mused.

"That he'd be perfect with Levi," Hanji suggested.

"You shouldn't be interfering like this," Erwin said, already knowing what was going on despite having heard very little of the conversation.

"It's for their own good. Even you can't deny that they should be together."

"I wasn't disagreeing, only advising caution. Do you want to fight with Levi again?"

Hanji replied flippantly, "He's always mad at me. What's the difference?"

"You mean you agree with her?" Armin asked his cousin, just to clarify.

"I acknowledge that there is a certain compatibility between Eren and Levi."

"Might as well try, Eren," Reiner suggested. "She won't leave you alone until you do, and she's got my support in this project of hers."

Eren shook his head in annoyance. "I can't believe you're pushing this just as much as Hanji." She'd started insisting recently that he call her by her given name as well. "Is Armin the only sensible one here?"

"Is that even a real question?" Armin asked in return, observing the others doubtfully.

"Well, I'm not interested."

"And if he's interested in you?"

"Then he can tell me himself."

With that pronouncement, Eren returned to his work, with a final eye roll. Hanji watched him and continued to plot, chatting with her recently gained allies about new plans to make their pairing reality. Eren was doing his best to appear as if he didn't care about the conversation, but in the weeks that followed, he kept looking at the older man speculatively, trying to separate truth from Hanji's crazed imaginings. It was impossible to tell with the expressionless grouch. Not that it really mattered. He wasn't interested. Even if Levi was, it would come to nothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think my similes here reflect where I was when I originally wrote this: my grandparents' cattle ranch in Nebraska.


	6. Uncovering

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lots of incorrect assumptions are made. Hanji's plot becomes public knowledge, which is rather unfortunate considering, up until this point, Mikasa hadn't known about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's update day once again and I'm back to actually doing it. Enjoy the new chapter!

"What's going on between you and Hanji?"

Eren stared blankly at the man, trying to figure out what he meant by that question. His mind automatically jumped to one conclusion due to the phrasing, but that was ridiculous. He rather hoped that Levi didn't seriously think he was in some sort of relationship with the scientist. That would just be wrong, on so many accounts. Eventually he decided that Levi must have noticed how often she came by now, and it wasn't like she was being subtle in her pointed looks between the two while trying to encourage Eren to start something. Still, he didn't really want to talk about her insane ideas, particularly with the other person directly involved, so he played the idiot. "We're not dating."

This response seemed to frustrate the older man. "I didn't say you were. No one would want to get involved with her even if they were insane themselves. I wouldn't accuse anyone of that horror, not my enemies and particularly not you."

"Then what were you—what do you mean 'particularly not me'? What's wrong with me?"

Levi just looked at him, thinking the answer obvious and that Eren was getting upset for no reason at all. "Because you're gay."

Instantly he realized his mistake. He wasn't supposed to know that. Hell, he wasn't even sure if it was still true. This Eren could be straight, or bi, or any of the other possibilities and Levi would have no way of knowing. Or maybe the boy was the same as before, but just hadn't realized it himself yet, or hadn't made the knowledge public. Regardless. Levi wasn't supposed to know.

Eren's following question then didn't surprise him at all. "How do you know that?"

He was trying to think of who could have possibly told the man, and who would have dared to, but was coming up blank. Maybe Hanji, but Eren didn't think she knew his sexual preferences. Oh wait, drat. She totally did considering this whole forced dating thing she was pushing. He resolved to have a discussion with her as soon as possible about not sharing other people's secrets.

"It's rather obvious."

It was a total lie. Levi had been watching, specifically in the interest of knowing whether Eren felt any attraction toward him, but saw nothing. If the boy was aware of anyone in that way, he didn't show it, and considering how bad he was at hiding things, Levi assumed that he just wasn't interested. Still, he had to say something. He needed some reason as to how he could possibly know something he shouldn't.

Eren shrugged, clearly not realizing that the reason he'd been given was absolutely ridiculous, probably because he knew how obvious his thoughts were on his face, or had already made some other assumption. "So...Hanji?"

Even Levi wasn't sure whether he had meant to ask about Hanji's sudden interest in the bar and the boy who worked there or the previous relationship that Hanji and Eren obviously had. He'd be more likely to get an answer to the former though, so he went with that first. "She's been here a lot recently."

The answer he got was hesitant. "Yeah..." Eren bit his thumb, something he typically did when he was uncomfortable.

"It's because of you."

"I know." Eren sighed, figuring he'd better put it out there. "You should know better than me what she wants. It's your fault anyway."

Well damn. Levi had known that Hanji was sticking her nose where it didn't belong, but this crossed the line. She'd fucking talked to Eren about it. It was a struggle to keep his expression neutral and not start with the murderous glaring. "Really?" He drawled. "My fault?"

Eren forced himself not to retreat, although he really just wanted to not talk about this ever again, particularly not with someone as irritable as Levi. He didn't want any of the anger that was sure to follow to be directed at him. "She's here for you too." He made it sound like she was some kind of alien or monster, hunting down her prey. He supposed it wasn't too far off.

"Is that so?"

"She thinks you're interested in me," Eren explained finally. "Romantically." In case it wasn't obvious before what he'd meant.

"She thinks a lot of things."

That wasn't the response Eren wanted. "Are you?"

"Not really." Levi looked away as he said it, the picture of boredom and nonchalance. He'd decided weeks ago that he wasn't going to force his feelings on the boy, not this early. It would only scare Eren off, and give him completely the wrong impression.

Eren nodded, comforted in that fact. "I'm not either."

That hurt.

"I guess Hanji's just crazy, as usual."

"I'll try to get her to stop."

Eren was surprised by the offer. It didn't fit in with the man he knew. Still, he wasn't going to turn him down. "I'd appreciate it. She's really annoying." He paused. "Are you gay?"

Levi just looked at him, his expression clearly annoyed.

"What? I'm not supposed to ask that?"

"It's rude."

"So? I'm curious."

Levi rolled his eyes. "And of course that's reason enough to ignore propriety." He sighed, knowing Eren wasn't going to give up and that there really wasn't any point to keep it a secret. "Yes, I am."

"Okay." It seemed to fit. Thinking a bit longer, something occurred to him. "You're not dating Erwin, are you?"

"No."

Eren shrugged. "I figured it was possible, although I'm not sure why. If that were true, Hanji wouldn't be so convinced that you're interested in me." He tilted his head, thinking about it. "I wonder why she thought that in the first place?"

"Probably because of your painting."

"Huh?"

"It was unfortunately still in the living room on the night she came over. It interested her because she knows I don't like art very much, and it all went to hell from there." That was all true. He'd just left out certain parts of the explanation, like the fact that he knew Eren from a past life and Hanji was completely aware of that.

The boy was completely aghast. "You don't like art?" Of course that was the part he'd pick up on.

"It collects dust and serves no practical function."

"It provides enjoyment!"

"That isn't practical."

Eren scowled but had no retort. His expression softened as he realized the detail that he'd missed. Pleasure filled his voice. "But you kept my painting."

Levi couldn't bear to look at him, not without wanting to act on impulses that he couldn't. The word was a mere breath across his lips. "Yes."

Eren smiled. "I'm glad." He nodded once to himself. "So, it's really nothing."

"Don't believe her so easily next time."

"I didn't, but you asked." He laughed. "She's been trying to get me to, I don't know, go on a date with you or something. That's why she's here all the time, to nag me. She got my friends in on it too."

"Your sister too?" That would be impressive.

"No way. Everyone's been doing their best to hide it from her. If she found out, she'd probably kill you."

Levi didn't doubt it. He knew Mikasa, and he knew how she'd felt about him in the past. Granted, she didn't have quite the same reasons to hate him now, but if she had memories too...or hating him could have simply become a fundamental part of her personality. He wouldn't be surprised. It had been one of her favorite past-times. And even if she didn't, from the few times he'd seen her, he knew she was just as overprotective of her brother as she had been. She wouldn't like the idea of an older man dating her brother, even if the difference was less than seven years.

Levi hadn't been wrong. It was a week or so later and the older man could just feel the glare burning into the side of his head. Armin and Mikasa were currently sitting with Eren at the other end of the bar, but the majority of the conversation was being carried by the two boys so Mikasa's attention was free to wander. It settled on Levi. After many more minutes of having little to contribute, she left her two companions and advanced on her target.

In some ways, Mikasa and Levi quite suited each other. They were both the type to speak bluntly and as to the point as possible, leaving out all unnecessary information. They could have been good friends, despite the age difference, if they only didn't disagree on one thing: how to deal with Eren.

"I want you to stay away from my brother."

Levi just rose one eyebrow at her remark, and then returned to ignoring her, quietly sipping his tea.

She smacked her hands down on the counter, eyes burning with passion. "I don't think he's realized it yet, but you and I both know what's really going on here. I want it to stop."

"It doesn't fucking concern you."

She grit her teeth. "Yes-it does."

"I'm not really sure what you think is happening that's so terrible."

"You care about him. You want him to care back so you're spending as much time here, with him, as possible, _and_ you got Dr. Zoe involved. I don't want him to have a relationship with you, in _any_ form."

Levi eyed her, pondering. He decided that she must have past life memories. Otherwise, she wouldn't be so bold when questioning someone who should have been a complete stranger. "Do you doubt his ability to make his own choices?"

"I do, actually. Don't you?"

"You're his sister. You don't have the right to make his choices for him."

"And you do?"

"I haven't forced him into anything."

"But you know that he'll eventually fall for you if you just wait."

"I don't know that."

"You are hoping though."

"Yes." There was no point denying it. He took another sip of tea. "I want Eren by my side, as long as he wants it too."

"That's just your excuse so that you won't have to think about what might actually be best for Eren."

"Why are you so certain that I'm not it?"

"Because as long as you're around, Eren's just going to become more and more determined to keep doing things like this." She gestured widely in the boy's direction, but Levi had absolutely no idea what she meant by it.

"Eren can choose his own happiness."

"I don't want him to be happy!" Mikasa snapped. "I want him to be safe."

"How selfish."

"I don't care! I couldn't...I couldn't bear it if he were to be hurt. I couldn't stand that. And if it was _your_ fault-"

"I don't give a shit."

"You should! If you knew-"

"Mikasa."

The two looked up to find the boy in question standing right in front of them on the other side of the bar. He wasn't quite glaring, but his lips were pressed firmly together and there was a definite irritated flare to his eyes.

Mikasa sighed, instantly softening as she met her brother's gaze. "I wasn't going to say anything."

"You already were. Armin says he's ready to go."

She got up and headed back toward the other end of the bar. Eren started to follow her, but stopped at the sound of Levi's voice.

"Hey. Brat."

He stopped and turned back unwillingly. "Yeah?"

"You made my tea today."

The boy winced, clearly expecting an insult to follow.

"It's getting better."

Eren's face flushed a brilliant red at the almost compliment and he stuttered a thanks before quickly departing to join his friends. Levi's resulting smirk was covered by his teacup. It wasn't just his imagination either that it took longer than normal for Eren to notice the next group of customers. The boy was definitely distracted.


	7. Missing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren goes AWOL.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eren's being very difficult to write for. I try and write happiness and fluff and he instantly turns it into an angst-fest.

Hanji glanced around the bar, thinking how odd it was that she hadn't seen Eren yet. He could be in the back painting, but it seemed like lately he was making more of an effort to converse with Levi when he could. Maybe he was finally accepting what she'd said. Levi had apparently found out about that little conversation though, so that put a damper on things. He'd yelled at her about it, but she refused to give in. It was for his own good. She began to smile, enjoying the thought of all of the trouble being caused for her grumpy friend. He had been horribly entertaining recently. Her grin grew wider as Levi spoke up.

"Hey, Erwin. Where's the brat?"

Hanji faked surprise, giving a little gasp. "You read my mind!"

Erwin frowned. "I don't know. This is the first time he's been this late."

"Maybe because of the holiday?" She suggested. The date celebrating the end of the Titan Wars had been the day before. Conveniently, it was on a Monday this year, so many people were able to take advantage of the long weekend and travel.

"I doubt it. As far as I know, his family didn't go anywhere and even if they had and were late coming back, he would have called."

"I hope nothing's happened," She worried, becoming more concerned.

"Oh, I'm sure _something_ has happened," Levi replied, a sarcastic edge to his voice.

"It could be...No, I'd rather not consider that."

"What?" Erwin wouldn't have said anything if he didn't intend to explain. Levi hated having to drag things out of the man.

"I think Eren's been remembering more from his past life—subconsciously, of course, not like our memories. It's possible that the date triggered something."

"If it was going to trigger anything, it should have done that a couple years ago."

"I don't think so. The way I see it, Eren has memories, just like us, but his mind has blocked most of them to protect himself. As he gets older, I wouldn't be surprised if more come back."

"But he didn't see anything strange until after the accident," Hanji commented.

"The similarity of events could have been what set it off. Losing his mother was a very traumatic experience for Eren."

"I hope you're wrong," Hanji murmured, knowing how terrible the knowledge of those events had been for her two friends.

Erwin was still frowning in concern. "I hope I am too. If he _is_ remembering things, there's the possibility that he will eventually remember everything. I worry about how his mental state will deteriorate if that happens."

"What makes you think he's remembering anything?" Levi asked, irritated by the whole conversation. He didn't want to consider the possibility. It made him hopeful and horrified, all at the same time.

"Well, for one, I think the shadow images are getting clearer. I can tell because he sometimes looks off to the side of, or above, a person that has the image, and he's been doing that a lot more recently. And then there's the hand biting."

"That horrible, disgusting habit of his," Levi couldn't help but insert.

Erwin smiled, amused by the reaction. He'd expected nothing else from Levi. "I know you think so, but have you paid any attention to where he tends to bite?"

"Why would I?" He preferred to avoid looking as much as possible.

"It's on the side of his hand, near the base of his thumb, right where he had all of those scars in the past."

"You think it has to do with being a shifter?"Hanji questioned eagerly.

"I believe it to be a nervous habit, left over from that time. It's his reaction to stress, because stress used to always mean a fight where he needed to transform. Eren was always transforming in those final days." Erwin smiled, trying to ease the tension. "It could be nothing. I'm always seeing connections where there might not be anything."

"If he really is remembering-"

Erwin's phone rang. He glanced at the screen before answering it. The number was Eren's.

"It's Mikasa," a woman's voice said as soon as Erwin answered the phone.

"You're borrowing Eren's phone," he guessed. "Is he alright?"

"Fine," the girl responded curtly. "He'll be staying home today though."

"Is he sick?"

There was a long pause, as if she was considering how to answer. "I'm sure he will return to work tomorrow," she said finally. "Have a good evening." And she hung up.

Erwin pondered her vague response for a moment but couldn't discern exactly what she had meant by it.

"Well?" Hanji prompted, unable to contain herself any longer. "Is he sick?"

Erwin shook his head. Mikasa's answer-or rather, the lack thereof-had implied the exact opposite. His friend instantly became more concerned, more so than he would have expected of someone who was just a family friend. He privately wondered whether Hanji knew something that he and Levi didn't, the elusive "something" that was often talked around when it came to Eren.

"Did she say what was wrong?" Hanji questioned quietly.

Erwin's answer was short, lacking an explanation. "She didn't."

It was clear that the absence of information was driving Hanji crazy. "But surely she gave you _some_ indication of why he wasn't coming in today."

"She hung up before I could ask."

"I should think that's indication enough," Levi said. "He's ditching."

"Eren wouldn't ditch," Erwin disagreed. "He has this job because he likes it."

"People get bored."

Hanji sided with Erwin. "Not Eren."

"Then why do you think he's not here?"

"If he isn't sick, perhaps he got injured," Erwin suggested.

"I certainly hope not," Hanji replied.

"Why does it even fucking matter? If you're so damn curious, just ask when he comes back."

"You know, I think I will," Hanji decided.

"You probably won't have to," Erwin responded. "Eren's likely to give the whole explanation himself as soon as he walks in."

To everyone's surprise, Erwin was wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one's kind of short.


	8. Changing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay, fine, I lied last time. Plenty of people knew where Eren was. Now everyone else gets to find out too.

"You don't have to follow me in," Eren muttered, pushing the door of the bar open and walking inside with Mikasa trailing behind. " _I'm fine_."

"You've been acting weird all day." As if that was enough of a reason.

He ignored her, hoping that she would leave if he continued to do so. He knew she was worried. There was every reason to be. It was rare that he ignored a person's presence while he was painting, and even more uncommon that he didn't notice them at all. It hadn't been until she had touched his arm that Eren had even realized she was in his room. At the time, he hadn't been able to stop. He'd barely been able to pause long enough to show her where his phone was so that she could call Erwin for him. Instantly after he had started painting again, the brush making furious strokes across the canvas. Mikasa was still bothering him about it, even if the reason for her concern had already been dealt with. He wanted to just forget about it all and be done. The painting was buried deep in his closet, right next to the other two that he wanted nothing to do with ever again. He didn't want to think about the reason why he had painted that scene, didn't want to consider what it might mean. It hurt enough already.

Mikasa sighed loudly. "I'm not going to tell them about your condition. I already told you that. Why are you still mad at me?"

"I'm not mad."

"You won't even look at me when I'm talking to you." Usually he at least bothered to glare in her direction when they were fighting. This lack of attention was really starting to bother her.

Eren tensed, but didn't explain. It wasn't that he was still upset with his sister-he hadn't been for a while-but he couldn't tell her the real reason why he couldn't look at her. It was concerning him enough. He didn't need her overprotective worry added on top of everything else. She continued to follow him as he moved toward the back rooms. Erwin wasn't at the bar, so that meant he was probably in the back, fetching some of the stock for later in the evening. Eren wasn't sure exactly what he was going to say as his reason for missing work the day before, but he knew it wasn't going to be the truth. There was no way that he was going to tell anyone what image he had been painting and he didn't think Erwin would believe him if he told only part of the truth. Actually, he probably still wouldn't believe him if the whole truth came out either. It was just that unbelievable. Eren had always just brought his supplies in with him if he was in the middle of a piece, ever since that first time when he was late while working on the portrait of his boss. It was easier that way because then he could just start working as soon as he was done. No one would believe him if he said that he wasn't capable of stopping long enough even just to come into work. No one would believe that there was a reason for it. He'd never been so fully focused on one of his pieces before, even counting that one time when he'd only been able to stop long enough to shove Mikasa out of the room.

"Are you really alright?" Mikasa asked, noticing that she had lost his attention again.

"What? Yeah, fine."

" _Eren_."

"Will you stop nagging me? I'm not your little brother or your child!"

Mikasa drew back, the words cutting much deeper than Eren had probably intended. It was the first time she'd heard the familiar phrase in this lifetime, but it still hurt just as much, even if he didn't mean it. Eren turned back only a moment later, clearly intending to apologize, realizing that he had gone too far. However, it was at that moment that Erwin came out from the stockroom, a case of beer in his arms. For a moment, everything was fine. Then Erwin put the case down and the image shifted.

Mikasa nudged Eren as he continued to stare. It was strange to see her brother so preoccupied. His attention focused back to the problem at hand, but his gaze remained pointed at Erwin's right arm. Somehow though, the words dried in his throat. He didn't know what excuse to give and he didn't think Erwin would believe him anyway. The man had a talent for catching Eren in his lies, although at least part of that was probably because Eren was just so bad at telling them.

Erwin laid a hand-the left one, Eren noticed, the one he could still see-on his shoulder. "You can start unloading this case while I go get the next one." He walked past Eren to head back toward the stockroom.

Eren half turned after him. "But what about-?"

"You haven't missed a single day of work since you started here. I don't mind if you take one off once in a while. Perhaps call earlier next time though, and don't make your sister do it."

"Y-yeah...sorry."

Erwin nodded, gave Mikasa a greeting, then left to go fetch another case. Mikasa stood there for a moment, before choosing one of the barstools to sit on, while her brother continued to unload the night's stock. Working seemed to calm him. The tenseness that had settled in his shoulders ever since the previous day slowly melted away and eventually a contented smile graced his face. As long as he didn't look too long in anyone's direction, he was fine.

As the time neared for the bar to officially open for the night, Levi strode in, stalked by Hanji. He looked like he had just come from work and had a rather pissed-off air about him, most likely due to constant harassment on the way there. Hanji, in contrast, had a bright smile on her face which only grew wider when she noticed Eren at the counter. He stared at the two for only a moment before he completely paled and rushed into the back room. His sister, who had been leaning against the bar, sat up straighter and watched him go, a worried frown on her face.

"It's all your fault. You scared him off." The complaint was directed at Levi.

"Or he just can't stand your shitty face."

"It's not you," Mikasa stated, more intent on correcting Levi than reassuring. "He's been like this since yesterday."

"Ah, about that, what happened?" Hanji asked. Levi thought it odd that concern seemed to dominate over curiosity in her tone. It was unlike her.

"He wouldn't like it if I told you," Mikasa answered simply, no inflection in her voice. "But...it's not what you're thinking. Physically, he's fine."

Eren, for his part, was sitting in the back room, his face buried in his hands. He didn't know what was happening to him. He couldn't pinpoint exactly when it had started, but weird things had been happening to him more and more frequently. He had always been able to see the shadow images on people-ever since the accident, anyway-but they had been indistinct and were rarely visible. Now, however, the images were as clear as their real looks, and were present so often that sometimes he doubted which was how the person really appeared. There were other things too. He now occasionally painted scenes with shocking clarity for something that had never actually happened and there were those rare times when he experienced emotions that didn't feel like they belonged to him. The shadows he saw had slowly been morphing. What had once been a motley collection of people from all eras was now molding into a regiment of soldiers, all dressed in nearly identical uniforms.

This was different.

Ever since he'd painted that damn image, the visions he saw on people had changed drastically. What had once been hopeful whispers of a future that had never been had now become horrified screams of a past that still plagued every one of them. He wasn't sure who was the most terrifying to look at: Mikasa strangled in a scarf black as death, Erwin with his right arm bitten off at the shoulder, his father's crazed eyes, Armin's blood drenched face, Levi and his mangled wings. Perhaps it was Hanji, because while all of those he had seen had been covered in blood, she was the only one whose bloodstains were not her own.

He sensed-more than heard-Erwin sit down across from him at the table. Some time over the past few weeks he must have finally gotten another chair for the breakroom. "Are you sure you're ready to come back to work?"

Eren nodded, but didn't look up. "I just need a few minutes."

Erwin thought for a moment before deciding to go ahead and ask, "The things you see have changed, haven't they?"

Eren nodded again, misery showing with every action. "How did you know?"

Erwin didn't give his answer-that Eren hadn't been particularly subtle in staring as his arm, the one he had lost back during the Titan Wars-but instead asked a question. "Have you ever thought about why you see these things?"

Eren didn't answer, but the truth was evident in his face. He knew. How much he knew was uncertain, but it was clear that he suspected something more was going on than simple hallucinations. This didn't fit into Erwin's calculations. He'd always thought that Eren didn't consciously remember anything of his past life and that he wasn't even aware of the connection between all of them. He'd believed that everything had been buried in deep in the boy's subconscious, completely inaccessible. He began to fear that it was just as he suspected. Eren's memories were slowly breaking through.

"It started after the accident, so I guess it must have been due to the shock or something," Eren answered evasively. "Everyone's just so _creepy_ now. It's hard to look at people."

"Do you have any idea why that might be?"

"No." The lie wasn't even slightly believable and they both knew it. Eren groaned and admitted the truth after a while. "I think it's because of yesterday."

"Yesterday?" Erwin prompted.

The boy shook his head, refusing to explain. "I'm going back to work," Eren said decisively. "People will start complaining if the bar is left unattended for too long."

"Levi will keep anyone from causing trouble."

Eren made a noncommittal noise and left the room.

His behavior was concerning, at best. It wasn't like the boy to avoid his problems, but that was undoubtedly what he was doing. His quick departure could be seen as nothing except running away. The thought was uncomfortably reminiscent of one from the past. There had only been one other time that Erwin remembered when Eren had been like this. It was a time he didn't like to think about. He sincerely hoped that Eren wasn't starting to remember that time as well.

The rest of the evening passed normally, although Eren seemed to have formed a slight tendency of looking to the sides of certain people's faces when he was talking to them, making sure that he wasn't focused on the macabre images he saw. Levi had left not long after arriving and Mikasa eventually went home too, so that left only Hanji and Erwin to observe the boy. It took a while to find a pattern to his behavior and it was Erwin who finally identified it. The only people Eren avoided looking at were ones he would have known in the past. It made sense, if the new habit was a result of a change in the shadow images. Hanji, of course, found this horribly interesting and would have been taking notes all evening if she'd only had pad of paper. Erwin had refused to give her one in order to preserve Eren's peace of mind. This curious behavior wasn't the only reason she was observing him. Despite her multiple and varied questions, he refused to tell her why he had missed work the previous day other than verifying that he wasn't sick and hadn't been hurt. She didn't find it very reassuring.

Despite the fact that she had work early in the morning, she stayed all the way until closing time. She waited until she and Eren were alone in the room as he wiped down the tables before asking the question she'd been wondering all evening. "When was the last time the tests were run?"

Eren paused in his movements but didn't respond.

"I sincerely hope that you actually know," Hanji scolded with no real malice.

"It was on the anniversary of _that day_."

"Last year?"

"No."

" _Eren_."

"Just shut the fuck up, okay? It's none of your damn business!"

"I'm a doctor. It _is_ my business. Why are you so against having the tests run? They aren't going to harm you…much."

His response was quiet, a whisper, almost too soft to hear. "I don't want to know."

Hanji sighed. "Why did you miss work yesterday? Is it really unconnected?"

Eren glared at her, but finally gave a reluctant answer, realizing that she wasn't going to give up until he gave her a satisfactory response. "I was...painting."

"What were you painting?"

He pressed his lips firmly together, refusing to say.

"We're just worried about you, Eren. You're not acting like yourself."

"I'm not sure I know who that is anymore." He paused for a long while, then turned to face her fully for the first time that night. "Hanji, do you believe in reincarnation?"

She couldn't stop the smile from spreading across her face, despite how inappropriate it was in the current situation. "Yes, Eren, I most certainly do, but I'm not the person you should really be asking."

He frowned in confusion. "What?"

"I'm not one who remembers." With that cryptic remark, she bid him goodbye and left for home, laughing mischievously all the way.

Eren stared after her, conflicting thoughts swirling through his mind. She was one of them, wasn't she? And probably the only one who would actually believe any of the shit currently running through his head. He cursed, disliking his confusion, and resolved to put all thoughts of another life from his mind, despite the impossibility of the action. He would live in the present just as he always had. He just wished that everyone else would let him.


	9. Confirming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren has his suspicions confirmed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For anyone who has been wondering what happened to me, real life got in the way. I've been having a lot of health problems lately (some related to what I talked about in chapter 5 and some not), as well as having school and work to deal with. Hopefully I will return to regular updates after this. My hope is to get enough updates out by Christmastime to be able to match up with when the Christmas Special happens in the story's timeline. Honestly, I've had this chapter on my computer, all done, but didn't get around to actually posting it.

Weeks passed and things settled back into their normal rhythm. Thankfully, the blood-soaked sights faded away after only a few days and the shadow images returned to their former selves, although they looked more like uniformed soldiers than ever. Eren was starting to think that he recognized the insignia on the back of their jackets, but he couldn't yet be sure. Besides, if he was right, shouldn't there be more green?

He marked the change up to that stupid painting, which was safely hidden away with the other two that he refused to look at. He'd considered destroying them: burning them, shredding the canvas, painting over everything with thick black acrylic...but never actually did it. He just couldn't bring himself to pretend that they had never existed, because they _did_ exist and, even if he got rid of them, he had painted them at one point and that fact alone could never be erased.

He settled for burying them in his closet.

Still, he couldn't get Hanji's parting words out of his mind. What did she mean "one who remembers"? He wasn't sure _what_ she was talking about, but he could guess _who_. After all, despite her outgoing personality, she didn't closely associate with that many people, probably because there were so few who could stand her for any length of time. Eren could think of three possibilities: Erwin, Levi, and his father. He instantly dismissed the last one because their acquaintance had only started after the accident and had been born out of need rather than any similarity of interests. He doubted that they were really all that close. That left Erwin and Levi. Of the two, Levi was more likely to give a straight answer (Eren got the impression that Erwin would just start a philosophical debate on the subject but would never actually answer the question), but it would most assuredly be "no" (except given in much more colorful and derisive language), which would mean that he would have to go ask Erwin anyway. Also, Eren didn't want to ruin Levi's opinion of him by asking ridiculous questions. He'd finally convinced the man to call him by his name, and he wasn't about to toss that small token of...whatever it was, away. He supposed they had sort of become friends by this point. That decided it; Erwin it was then. He was the easier of the two to find anyway.

Eren waited until after closing time to broach the subject. He'd decided to approach the topic less bluntly than he had with Hanji. Although straight-forwardness was in his nature, he wasn't as comfortable with Erwin as he was with the scientist. Erwin already knew about Eren's extra sight and Eren didn't want to seem any crazier than he already did. For his part, Erwin had known that something was on the boy's mind all evening, so he wasn't particularly surprised when Eren finally broke the silence.

"Do you know about Armin's theory?"

Erwin couldn't help but smile in amusement at the thought. "Yes. I'm assuming you're referring to his idea that we are all reincarnations of soldiers from the Walled Era."

Eren nodded in agreement. He was quiet for a while, then asked, "Do you think he's right?"

Erwin stared at the boy, trying to work out the reasoning that had brought them to this point. He could only come to one conclusion: his theory hadn't been wrong. Eren was remembering things and it was only a matter of time until he knew the reasons for it. Maybe, if he had some knowledge of the matter and if he knew that there was someone he could talk to, the remembering wouldn't be so damaging.

"For me, it isn't a matter of believing or not believing. There have been too many circumstances that support the theory to consider it as anything except fact. It could all be in our heads, of course. It certainly seems impossible that so many could have memories of a past life that coincide, but I stopped dismissing the impossible long ago."

"So, you believe in reincarnation then?" Eren frowned, Erwin's words finally processed. "Wait, memories?" What the hell? And he'd thought believing in reincarnation made him insane. This was just...unquestionable madness.

"I suppose I do, although I had not thought of it as such before. I merely remember who I used to be." Erwin waited a few moments, considering the nature of the entire conversation and the hidden agenda that lurked behind the boy's questions. "Do you agree with him?"

"I don't know," Eren answered honestly. "I didn't used to-it sounded too insane to be anything except complete and utter bullshit-but I'm starting to think he might be right." He started down at his feet, twisting the toe of his sneaker around on the ground. " _I_ certainly don't remember anything like a past life, and honestly I'm starting to wonder if you're more crazy than I am." His frown intensified. "But I do _see_ things, impossible things that don't make any sense otherwise."

"It must be hard. Everyone who is close to you has a past life counterpart, according to my cousin, but you do not."

"He just hasn't found it yet."

"Possibly, or perhaps there isn't anything to be found. It is possible that you are unique to this era."

"I'm not."

The final piece fell into place. "You know, don't you? You know who you were in that past life."

It wasn't a question of knowing so much as guessing. Defiantly, Eren lifted his chin. "Do you?"

"Yes, and so, I would expect, does anyone else who has past life memories."

Eren cursed under his breath, then, "Do you remember everything?"

"As well as if I had lived it myself. It seems to be the same for the others as well."

"How many others are there?"

"I know for sure of one other besides myself, but there are many more that I suspect have memories as well."

"Who?"

Eren quickly began to run through everyone that he knew to be involved in his mind. Hanji was out—she'd already said she wasn't one of them, at least, not one with memories. Levi was the next obvious choice, but Eren dismissed him too. Eren knew how the people who knew looked at him—Erwin had given him that same half pity, half wary, and half relieved look when they'd first met. Levi didn't look at him like that, like he was a monster-a fucking titan—so he couldn't know. It was probably Mikasa. Now that he knew there really were people with past life memories, Eren was sure she was one of them. His dad too, probably. And Jean, maybe Annie. Fuck, he was so screwed. No wonder no one trusted him to make intelligent decisions, if they believed he was the same as the shifter who was well known for his reckless decisions. Granted, most of them worked out in the end, but that didn't excuse the fact that they were stupid in the first place.

Erwin answered the question. "I cannot tell you that. It is up to them to decide whether you should know or not, and based on the current circumstances, it appears that they have chosen not to inform you."

"That's because everyone thinks I'm completely oblivious. It's like they think I won't notice that everyone else knows something I don't. I'm not that stupid."

"You could always confront them."

The suggestion was made so casually that Eren could almost believe Erwin hadn't meant it. Almost. But this was Erwin. He did not propose courses of action unless he was trying to convince a person to follow them. Eren watched him, suddenly wary of continuing the conversation. He didn't want to be manipulated.

"Why aren't there any records left of the Rogue Titan's human identity? Shouldn't that information have been kept somewhere?"

"It was, but the military destroyed as much of it as they could after the last titan was killed. They erased all evidence that any of the other shifters ever existed. However, because of the way in which Eren's-or the Rogue Titan's, rather-ability became apparent, it was impossible to remove every trace of his existence." Eren started at the casual use of the words he had always forbidden himself from mentioning. "Instead, the military was forced to resort to controlling what information was made public and hoping that none of the hidden truths ever came to light."

"There were other shifters?"

"Many others, but the Rogue Titan was different, in several ways. That is why he alone survived to the end."

Eren considered that, then added. "The history books are wrong. The Rogue Titan's death…it's not like they said it was."

"Would you rather that they told the truth?"

"I don't even know what the truth is. I don't have actual memories like you do, but sometimes I can recall impressions of things that I know are not from this lifetime. I have to guess only from that."

"I know it's confusing, but the Rogue Titan isn't you. The Eren Jaeger of the past isn't you. There were circumstances then that you have never had to face and they pushed him to that point. You were him, once, but that doesn't mean that you are him now."

"I know that," Eren replied with a scowl. "That's why I never told anyone that I knew. I mean, it's not like I really _believed_ any of it, but it was a long time ago that I figured out what I would be if it was all real. I just don't want them to only think of me as _it_."

Erwin didn't miss the way in which Eren referred to his past self. It was clear that he still harbored resentment over what he had been made into, even if he didn't entirely remember the reason behind the emotions. The two were almost done closing down the place for the night, but there was still one puzzle that needed solved. "If you don't actually remember anything, how did you know that you were the Rogue Titan?"

Eren had apparently gotten lost in his thoughts, because it took him a moment to realize that he had been spoken to, and the question had to be repeated. "Mirrors," he finally answered. "I don't only see the shadow images on other people." His frown increased as he thought on the things he saw. "I think I'm starting to see people how they were during their past life. It didn't used to be that way."

"Perhaps what you can recall of that time has become clearer as you spend more time with the people you would have known back then." Or his subconscious had finally decided that he was capable of dealing with it all. Erwin didn't think the boy would take _that_ explanation well.

"Maybe," Eren agreed, knowing without a doubt that what Erwin had said was true, but not wanting to give him the satisfaction of being right. He got enough of that already. The boy paused for a moment, then added, "Thanks. I didn't really want to talk to anyone about this, but I decided I'd rather know whether I was right or just crazy."

"If you're insane, then so are the rest of us." Erwin placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. "You don't have to let this affect how you live now. You can't just ignore it, but the past doesn't have to control what choices you make in the future. Live how _you_ want to."

A dry laugh blew past Eren's lips. It was weak and there was no real mirth in the sound. "That's the exact opposite of what everyone else says. No matter what I say, they all believe that I shouldn't be allowed to spend my life how I choose."

He didn't elaborate and Erwin was left to wonder. It seemed out of character for the people close to the boy to limit him so. There must still be something that the older man didn't know. Otherwise, there could be no explanation. What was it that Eren had chosen which his family and friends wished to prevent? The boy hadn't always made the brightest decisions, but there were those who followed him anyway. If even his sister, as Eren had implied, was no longer standing by him...there must be some mistake. She would never fight Eren, no matter how much she disagreed with him. Their relationship was too precious to her for that.

At that moment, a car horn sounded through the night. It was Mikasa, reminding Eren that she was forced to wait outside in the idling car while he finished up. Eren quickly thanked Erwin again, grabbed his things, and was out the door, leaving the older man alone with his thoughts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now some clarification for the readers, as well as a reminder since I've been gone so long.  
>  With memories: Eld, Erwin, Grisha, Jean, Levi, Mikasa, Reiner, Ymir  
>  Without: Annie, Armin, Connie, Eren, Gunther, Hanji, Marco, Oluo, Petra, Sasha  
> I realize that some of these characters haven't shown up yet, but this is pretty much the full cast of the fic. They will all appear eventually. I figured I'd include this list to clear up any confusion and as a reference. If there are any questions, feel free to ask.


End file.
